Society somehow depicts that a father’s role in their kids’ life is about setting up rules and providing financial needs. But it’s more than that. Having a family, raising and providing for kids, and working on the repairs at home are only a few things that fathers do. And since people usually think that mothers are the ones who play the most important role in parenthood, they disregard the impact of a father. And knowing that a child’s development not only needs motherly assistance, there are things that a father unquestionably do better. That is especially when it comes to raising a son.
I am a father of three boys ages 7, 14, and 17. Since all of them are of the same gender, I figured out there’s nothing much to do regarding taking care of them. After my wife and I got divorced, I assumed that all of them need almost the same things so I thought I would care less. But, I was wrong. Though all of them are boys, each of them requires individual attention. As I continue to practice the same parenting style over and over again, my boys started to complain. They accused me of slowly damaging their mental health with my parenting style.
I’m Treating Everyone As A Kid
My teenagers are complaining about how I treat them as a kid. Well, I think I have an excuse for that. I am a single father. But who am I kidding? It’s not a valid reason to treat your kids with immaturity. I always thought that my teenage boys are like their younger brother who needs protection all the time. Since I get to decide for the little one, I thought I have the right to rule for the rest of the two. I guess when you are dealing with children of different ages, there’s got to be a boundary on how much you should get involved.
I Don’t Give Them Enough Choices
In my defense, I am trying to give them limited access to what they should and shouldn’t do. It’s not like I am stopping them from doing anything, it is just that I want them to focus on deciding on things one at a time. In all honesty, boys are typically hard to handle. They somehow have this feeling of entitlement. That they can do almost anything. However, I don’t want that kind of mentality on my kids. As much as possible, I want them to look after their weakness and try to learn from it.
I Always Say “No”
The reason why I don’t agree on much of everything they ask me is that I don’t entirely see the benefits of their life choices. Why? Because for me, they are only kids. I admit I am against things that are new to my kids’ world. I want my boys to stay right where they need to and become the person I want them to be. So for me, always saying “no” is a sacrifice I make to keep them away from the potential danger of things they are not familiar with.
I know I can never be a mother to my kids. But I never knew that my parenting style could slowly hurt them. I was blinded by the idea that I am doing everything for them without knowing that I’m genuinely the one destroying their overall mental and emotional well-being. I treat everyone as a kid; I always say “no,” and I don’t give my kids enough choices. Though it’s not an excuse, the only reason I can think of doing those things is that I’m their father.
As a parent, you need to be there for your children in every milestone that they have. Unfortunately, being a parent is not an easy role especially if you have a teenage child whose primary goals are way different than yours. At the same time, you may also experience having negative conversations or altercations with your teen due to some personal problems that she has. Take note that you must know the best time to suggest counseling for your beloved daughter.
“Daddy, can you carry me?” said my 3-year old daughter as I was trying to get her out the car. She wanted her daddy to do it, not me. This made me curious, although I heard before from my psychology professor that daughters of her age would prefer their dad over their mom. I feel jealous in a way, to think she’s with me all day, but more than jealousy, I feel envy. I feel envious of their bond, and it made me wonder what I could have become if I had a dad.
Cancer has the capacity to strike you down and drag you to the depths of incapacitation. And more often than not, this disease would take every ounce of self-esteem from your system.
But the way a person carries the disease, whether in a negative or positive way, will be reflected in how they cope. Being aware of what could happen once you are diagnosed with testicular cancer will be able to prepare you for the worst.
Treatments for cancer, in general, have a huge impact on a person’s physical, mental, social, emotional, financial status. But with sufficient knowledge and understanding on how to cope with various treatment modalities, a person can still live life to the fullest despite his condition.
Men of any age can experience testicular cancer. While this type of cancer is not commonly known, its diagnosis consists of ultrasound, blood tests, and clinical examinations. In this page, you’ll be able to find out more facts on why testicular cancer occurs and what its symptoms are.
Just because it was able to withstand the test of time or it has gone viral in some random post, doesn’t mean that you have to believe it.
In the sea of information scattered around the internet these days, how sure are you that what you’re reading is an actual fact? Is it the kind of fact about testicular cancer that is a backed up by scientific research and studies with clinical trials and laboratory experiments? Or is it that misleading, untruthful information disguised as a fact to scare people?
The internet is composed of facts and fallacies circulating within its system 24/7. Myths, on the other hand, can or cannot be tagged as a fact unless proven otherwise by science. But some myths are usually fabricated and most of the time, exaggerated, to get more attention, likes, and views.
If a person is not vigilant about fact-checking, he would easily consider that a lump can instantly mean death. With myths that are false, it always comes down to some morbid, unrealistic outcome.
To get you up-to-date, here are some of the common myths that you might or might not know.
Myth #1: “I’ll only have it when I’m old.”
Sorry to burst your bubble but, no. As soon as you go into your teenage years, you become qualified and susceptible to having the big C. Though, it is accurate that older men tend to acquire other types of cancers. Testicular cancer, on the other hand, can affect men within 15 to 40 years old.
Myth #2: “There goes my sex life.”
Thinking that your sex drive will diminish or suffer once you’ve undergone surgery or treatment is a mistake and outrageous. Men who have had testicular cancer can still get satisfied and have an orgasm even if both their testicles have been removed. Replacement of testosterone is possible and can make you feel normal.
Myth #3: “I’ve injured by balls, I’m going to have cancer.”
That’s totally not the case. Contrary to what most men’s belief, direct trauma to the nuts does not, in any way, cause cancer. More so, vigorous activities that cause friction are not considered as risk factors for having testicular cancer. In fact, this is quite the opposite. Regular activities and exercise can actually lower men’s risk for testicular cancer.
Myth #4: “Testicular cancer is very common, I might have it.”
No, it is not; and no, you might probably not. The probability of having it is one out of 260 people, which makes testicular cancer extremely rare. Cancer affecting that colon, lungs, and prostate are even more common than that cancer affecting the testicles. And every year, there are more or less 8,000 who are diagnosed will the illness.
Myth #5: “I can no longer be treated.”
Cheer up, because you can. According to medical experts, testicular cancer, as compared to other cancers, can easily be treated; especially with early detection. However, even in its later stages, testicular cancer can still be resolved and the rate of becoming cancer-free can be promising.
If the cancer is localized, which means affecting just one area or testicle, the chance for full recovery from the disease is around 99%. If cancer cells have escalated to nearby tissues and lymph nodes, there is a 96% chance of recovery. Finally, if cancer cells have advanced to adjacent organs, there’s still a 75% chance of recovery. These numbers are quite impressive and are reassuring.
Breaking the myths
Do not believe everything you see or read without basis most especially if it is related to your health and is as disconcerting as cancer. Being well-informed is a huge advantage when it comes to testicular cancer; however, being misinformed is dangerous. Check your data and if in doubt, you can always consult a medical professional.
Not to be inappropriate and intrusive but…have you touched yourself lately?
Hold that thought.
Before you think that I’m overstepping some boundaries, hear me out first.
If you’re assuming that I am talking about something nasty, I’m not. And it’s not what I meant. This is more of touching your manly parts and checking if there’s something that’s not supposed to be there – like lumps or bumps.
Aren’t you a tad bit curious if your testicles are showing signs of a foreboding disease known to many as testicular cancer? Aren’t you concerned that if you denied yourself of this necessary precaution, you and your family will be affected devastatingly in the long run?
This is not a laughing matter and it’s not something to be ashamed about. Touching your balls constantly to familiarize yourself with how it’s normally like will make it easier for you to spot if there’s an anomaly through a thorough examination.
Medically speaking, you will be the first person to diagnose if you might be a potential candidate for cancer. Though the presence of lumps and bumps around your scrotum are not immediately signs of having cancer; some abnormalities are there for other medical reasons.
Nonetheless, if you’ve noticed that there are some growth going on down there that are not supposed to be there and weren’t there before, it is advisable to have it checked by a urologist. Early prevention is definitely better than long-term cure. Preventive measures, like testicular self-examination, is one of the most effective ways to detect of testicular cancer.
Not to put so much anxiety on you but according to recent statistics, in 2017, there are more than 8,800 current cases of diagnosed testicular cancer and about 400 deaths in the United States alone. More so, the occurrence can happen in as early as 20 years old. Surely, those numbers should’ve made you a little concerned.
Now, we get to that moment you’ve been waiting for – the testicular self-examination.
You have to keep in mind that this is not done just once in a lifetime. Once you’ve reached the age of 20, you have to perform this examination regularly, like weekly or even twice a month.
Also, it is advisable that this is performed when you shower. Doctors find that warm showers can cause your scrotum to relax and will make the self-exam easier because if there are thepresence of abnormalities, it would be more palpable.
If you’ve never done testicular self-examination before, here’s how:
- Assuming you’re inside your shower and dousing yourself with warm water. The first thing that you’ll do is to hold your penis and direct it in a way that it reveals your scrotum.
- Separately examine your testicles. Take one testicle with both hands and with the use of your thumbs and fingers, roll it gently between your fingers, going down smoothly.
- As you thoroughly do this, spot any rounded masses or nodules, hard lumps, or odd changes in the consistency, shape, and size of your testicle.
- Repeat process on the other testicle.
Before you worry
Now that you’ve done the checking, you might have noticed that your scrotum is uneven; meaning, the other testicle is a bit larger compared to the other one and it hangs lower too. Don’t panic, this is normal. Blood vessels, tubes, and tissues are also part of a normal testicle.
However, if you feel that there’s something unusual, it’s recommended to schedule an appointment with your doctor as soon as you can. If your suspicions are seconded by the doctor, you will have to undergo a series of tests for verification.
Do not second guess and more importantly do not ignore this. Testicular cancer can be defeated with early diagnosis. So, have the courage to do it, take the first step and touch those balls!