I had always been the happiest and politest boy in the neighborhood. Whenever I went out of the house to walk the dog, get the morning paper, and do other chores, I often had a smile and a greeting ready for every person I would see around the house.
Sometimes, even if the people were a few places away, I would run to them to say hi. Because of that, the elders treated me as their kid, and the other children wanted to befriend me. At such a young age, I did not understand what was so special about my habits and gestures. After all, that had always been the routine in our home, my mother and father would wake me up with kisses and tickles, and then we would all head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast together. I learned how to be polite, joyful, and helpful early, yes.
I only realized that not every kid acted like me when I entered primary school. I overheard a classmate arguing with her mother. It went like this:
“You did not take your lunch box to school again,” Mrs. Cooper said as soon as Jane came up to her.
“Your food sucks, Mom,” Jane retorted.
Mrs. Cooper looked hurt and shocked. “Excuse me, young lady?”
“Yeah, you heard me.” Then, Jane walked past her mother and stood beside their car. “Come on, Mom. I’m growing roots here!” she yelled, annoyed.
Although I did nothing back then, I promised myself that I would never be like Jane. Besides acting awful towards her mother, she did not know how to appreciate Mrs. Cooper’s efforts. Worse, Jane did not even greet her.
Becoming An Adult
I carried my happy and polite disposition into my adulthood. In college, I had been known as that guy who would never turn a friend down and always had a helping hand ready for everyone. Of course, some people tried to take advantage of that, but I knew how to dodge them without acting rudely.
After getting my college diploma, I began working at a construction firm as an architect. That’s where I met my wife, Sherra. We became friends quickly when we found out that we both loved the Star Trek franchise. Her easygoing attitude also meant that she was always smiling. However, what made me realize that Sherra was the one was when my parents dropped by the firm, and only Sherra was there to entertain them.
Mom called me that night and gushed over Sherra. She said, “Son, I met the loveliest girl at your workplace today. She had a massive pile of paperwork on her desk, but she left it to assist me even before knowing that I was your mother. I hope she’s still single – she’s a keeper.”
Having A Family
Twenty years after that conversation, Sherra and I had been happily married with two teenage boys. We had a short courtship as it turned out that Sherra liked me before I even courted her, and then we tied the knot and subsequently had twins.
Plenty of things have changed since then. For one, Sherra quit her job to become a hands-on mother. I supported her decision because looking after two energetic kids was a full-time job. The only consolation was that they inherited our happy disposition and rarely kept us up at night, even when they were still babies. I also stopped working at the firm to start my own when the children turned five years old to be with them more.
Our routine became similar to what I had during my childhood days. My wife and I would wake up the boys early with kisses and cuddles. My sons were never fussy, so they would always jump off their beds and greet us happily and help us make food in the kitchen. They did not stop acting that way even when they went through puberty – the stage that most parents dreaded the most. Their voice merely grew deeper, and they had a growth spurt, but the twins were still as affectionate and happy as ever. Hence, our happiness continued.
Hitting A Snag
When my sons – yes, both of them – got accepted to Harvard, I was perhaps the proudest father on the planet. Their acceptance letters arrived a couple of months before their high school graduation, so I had enough time to share the fantastic news with my parents, friends, and even clients. My wife and I also accompanied them to Massachusetts early to find an apartment within biking distance of the campus. We were over the moon at the thought of having Harvard diplomas hanging in the house a few years later.
Empty Nest
However, my happiness hit a snag on the first night that the boys were gone. It was already Fall, so the semester was about to start. I knew they were safe in their apartment, but I could not help but feel sad about the fact that I won’t see my kids every day anymore. My sadness turned into lethargy soon enough. When December came, and I still felt that way, Sherra finally put her foot down.
“I’m worried about you, honey,” she said one evening. “I set an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow. We will go there to sort out your prolonged sadness,” she added gently yet firmly.
As it turned out, I developed seasonal depression.
Imagine The Shock I Felt
It was the first time I heard of such a disorder. I knew that some people were prone to depression, but I never thought it could affect me. I thought that since I had been the happiest and politest kid in the neighborhood, I would never be depressed.
When I visited the psychologist, she explained that the drop in temperature, shorter days, and lack of sunshine during the winter months could trigger depression in some people. She said it was a type of depression that could be managed with the right medication and lifestyle modifications.
The doctor prescribed me antidepressants, which I took faithfully. I also made some adjustments to my daily routine. I started by getting up an hour earlier to do some stretches and morning walks. I also started meditating and journaling every night.
Getting Better
It took some time, but I eventually got better. I felt like my old self again – happy, polite, and full of life. However, the experience of going through seasonal depression taught me to be more mindful of my body and mind. I now take time to rest more and avoid stressful situations. I also make sure to spend more time with my family and friends.
If you are a dad and you notice signs of depression during certain seasons, don’t hesitate to seek help from a doctor or therapist. I know it’s not easy to talk about depression, especially if you’re a father. But I believe that it’s important to be honest with those around you. It’s the first step to finding the right help and support.
Stay Connected And Take Care Of Yourself
It’s also important to stay connected with others. Don’t isolate yourself, even if it feels like the easiest thing to do. Reach out to your friends, family, or co-workers and let them know how you’re feeling. Ask them to help you out, even just by talking and listening.
Finally, make sure to practice self-care. Make time for things that make you feel good, such as exercise, yoga, and meditation. Stay away from bad habits like drinking or smoking. Eat healthy and get enough sleep. These things can make a huge difference in helping you manage your depression.
The Takeaway: What I Learned About My Journey
Seasonal depression can be difficult to deal with, but it doesn’t have to define you. It is not a sign of weakness either. It’s a serious condition that can affect anyone, even a father. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to seek help. Talk to a doctor or therapist, stay connected with your loved ones, and practice self-care. With the right help and support, you can overcome it.
Fatherhood can be a joyful yet challenging experience. It’s a time of self-discovery, of learning to balance work and life, and of being more mindful of your own needs. But it can also bring about unexpected struggles, such as seasonal depression.
I learned this the hard way when I experienced seasonal depression. But with the help of my family, friends, and therapist, I was able to overcome it. I hope that my experience will help other dads out there who are struggling with the same condition.
What Is The Meaning Of Seasonal Depression?
Seasonal depression is a mood disorder that an individual experiences due to the changing of seasons. Most people deal with it in the wintertime since that’s when we all get the least amount of sunlight. However, it is possible to experience seasonal depression during the summer, too.
What Is The Saddest Month?
January is technically the saddest month of the year. This is when the temperature is mostly low and the skies are gloomy. Even if you see the sun, it is not as hot as in other months. In truth, the third Monday of January is called Blue Monday.
How Common Is SAD?
Mild seasonal affective disorder (SAD) has been diagnosed in up to 20% of individuals in the United States. Approximately 6% of them have moderate or severe SAD. Gender-wise, SAD is more common in young female adults.
What Is The Best Treatment For This Disorder?
Some psychiatrists may say that the best treatment for seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is an antidepressant. Many individuals with this type of depression start taking the medication before they even get the depressive symptoms. However, for folks who do not want to take antidepressants, the best treatment is light therapy.
When Do Fathers Usually Experience SAD Symptoms?
As the winter months set in and daylight hours are shortened, some fathers may experience seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as seasonal depression for dads. This condition can cause numerous mental health symptoms, including experiencing feelings of sadness, trouble concentrating, and depression. Additionally, some people may turn to comfort foods, which can lead to weight gain. It’s important to prioritize self-love and care during this time, such as getting exposure to more light and engaging in social activities. Increasing exposure to natural light can help alleviate the effects of seasonal affective disorder. If symptoms persist, seeking support from online health professionals can be a helpful resource. Remember to prioritize your father’s mental health during the winter months and take steps to address any symptoms of SAD, such as trouble concentrating and experiencing feelings of sadness.
Which Vitamin Is Good For SAD?
Vitamin D is an excellent vitamin to combat seasonal affective disorder (SAD), considering you get depressed in winter. The reason is that it is challenging to get this naturally during this particular season, no matter how much you stay outdoors. Nevertheless, you should ask a physician if you can take this vitamin with your other medication.
How To Combat SAD In Fathers?
As fall approaches, dads may notice changes in their mood and feelings of sadness. Seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression that is linked to changes in seasons, can impact the entire family. It’s important for dads to prioritize their mental health and seek treatment if needed. Exercise and exposure to sunlight can be effective treatments for seasonal affective disorder, and taking an interest in activities with kids can also boost mood and improve family life. If feelings of sadness persist for several weeks or interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. Remember to take care of yourself and your family, especially during the fall months when seasonal changes can impact mood and overall well-being.
Final Thoughts
I did not take antidepressants to battle my seasonal depression, for the record. Instead, I forced myself to go out and get as much sun exposure as possible every day. My kids also came home for the holidays, and they livened up the house once more. My wife and I decided to get a house in Massachusetts to visit the boys whenever we wanted. Though the psychologist could not guarantee that my SAD won’t return, he said that I had a high chance of not experiencing its symptoms if I continued doing things that made me happy.
And I could not agree more with that.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can Dads Get Postpartum Psychosis?
Postpartum psychosis is quite rare, and although it is more prevalent in women, it can definitely affect men, specifically fathers. Characterized by severe mental health symptoms such as confusion, delusion, hallucination, and extreme mood swings. These symptoms usually show up a few weeks after the birth of a child.
While experts are yet to pinpoint the exact cause of postpartum psychosis, hormonal changes, sleep deprivations, and genetic disposition are believed to play huge roles in the occurrence of this condition. With that said, it is crucial for fathers to seek immediate medical attention to ensure not just their well-being, but the family’s safety as well.
At What Age Do Most Men Get Depressed?
Depression affects both men and women at any age. However, plenty of research suggests that the average age for men to experience depression and its symptoms tends to peak in their late 30s and early 40s. Coincidentally, this is the period of major life transitions in men, such as career changes, relationship changes, and increased responsibilities of family and parenting. With that said, men may be more prone to experience “masked” or atypical depression symptoms, which are characterized by anger, increased irritability, risk-taking behaviours, etc., making it challenging to recognize and properly diagnose the condition.
What Are Some Factors That Can Contribute To Depression In Fathers?
Depression in men, especially in fathers, can be caused by a variety of different factors. The primary precursors of this, however, are significant life changes. Moreover, relationship difficulties are also a common occurrence, including conflict with co-parents or with a partner.
Other common triggers of this condition are financial stress, the struggle of balancing responsibilities in work and family, work-related pressures, etc. The feeling of isolation from lack of social support and limited access to resources for emotional experience can also exacerbate the risk of depression in men.
Additionally, men with a history of mental health issues, and a family history of anxiety and depression, are at higher risk of this condition.
Do Men Get Depressed Easier?
Depression can differ from one person to another, and the effects and severity of its symptoms can vary from person to person too. With that said, depression is not necessarily easier or harder for men than for women. Rather, since they are influenced by different factors, they can manifest in different ways.
Men often face unique cultural norms and societal expectations that often discourage vulnerability. This is why very few men seek professional help. This makes it more challenging for them to get properly diagnosed for their condition.
Moreover, men may experience different symptoms too, ranging from anger, irritability and engaging in risky behaviors.
Is Depression Worse In Men?
As said earlier, depression doesn’t manifest as worse or more severe in men than in women. The influence of depression can vary between individuals, regardless of their genders. Thus, depressive symptoms often go unnoticed, which only delays the diagnosis and treatment. With that said, it is important to acknowledge each person’s journey through depression.